It's a good chapter but a little rushed on Kasumi's part, (know this is is AFF) but still Kasumi is 3 years older than Akane and her personality and is reflected in her calm front in the wildness of the Tendo Household charcters. Yes the way you have Akane, she'll have pig-boy for sex whenever she wants (not that that any prize) but I think she lost Ranma forever. That was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship, ironicly Akane kurned out to be as money grubbing as Nabiki.
I like how so far, there plenty of martal arts farces out there, I would much rather follow a story where Kasumi and Ranma/or onnaRanma can grow closer together without having to fight every step of the way.
On Chapter 2, I can't disagree on the taste of proteen shakes. (ug!)
I as soon as I found that Ranma had a keiti (moble phone), (1) I wondered why he didn't call the bank and setup an account in his name only (using the telephone keypad to type his pin) and transfer the bonies from his and Akane's joint accoint to just his privet account. (2) Call the University and inform them that Tendo Akane is compleatly responsible for all of her own expences in the future, starting on this date. (3) Call Akane's faverite clothing store where she buys most of her desiger dresses and inform them that her credit line with Saotome Ranma no longer applied.
Although the ending kind of a disappointment, it was as if you can't think of anything else to do, let's slip into the same old format and just change the characters around abit.
Kasumi deserves better and can grow in this role , if you let her.
this is actually the greatest fanfic that i have ever read, out of the 100,000,000 that i have read this one trumps all. it is actually just like a movie, and couldnt have been better if rumiko takahashi had done it herself. i cant wait for the next chapter, also if you are not interested in writing the next chapter then can i please write it. i am not sure if i could do it justice, but i could do it good. please contact me if ur writing it or not, also if i could maybe carry on
There were some grammar errors but not a lot. Some parts sounded cliche but you had a twist to them that I haven't read about before. The part with Kasumi standing up to her sister's and not being so innocent, Nabiki actually blackmailing both of them were just some of the parts. I am ejoying this and do hope that you finish this. Thanks for the read.
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